The Language of Humanity

Would life be easier if we all spoke the same language? As I sat in Italy, surrounded by my family, cousins who were more like third cousins twice removed, my Nonna, my sister, and my parents, I suddenly thought: wouldn't life be easier if I could actually understand what they were saying to me? My Nonna (grandmother in Italian) uses a few words every now and again to show her endearment towards my sister and I or to command us to do something. Those few words, such as bella and angela, did not prepare me for the massive amounts of confusion that occurred when we visited my Italian family in the beautiful small seaside town my Nonna's family came from. Only one of my "cousins," could speak English and he was given the job of translating for everyone. But, if you've ever met real Italians you know there is no way for one person to speak at a time! Chaos is the Italian way and chaos ensued as old women kissed and pinched my cheeks, cousins embraced me like an old friend, and my "uncles" spoke rapidly. I stood there, my eyebrows raised, unsure of what I was supposed to do. Afterwards, as the family all sat down after dinner with their wine, they took out their musical instruments and began singing. They sang words that I didn't understand. But I did understand the emotion behind their words. Their voices blended together in pain, in passion, in adventure, and in love. I knew what they were singing merely on how they were singing it. That is when I realized, we do not have to understand words in order to understand feeling. We are all human, we all experience the same emotions throughout our lives. Language is not what should bring us together, it should be our feelings. Waving goodbye to all of those people that were strangers to me when I walked into the house, I felt I was leaving a piece of me behind. They had become my family, whether or not I could understand what they said through their tears. I understood their tears. To me, that was all that mattered.

And for those who don't know who Hugh Dancy is:

Now isn't he a hunk?

Oni: The Life Force

During class, we discussed the importance of wind to the Taiga culture. Throughout the novel, Omishto describes the wind as powerful, as "the spirit, the breath" of the earth and of herself (4). The description of the wind as both powerful, terrifying and beautiful seems to give the Taiga faith even more power. The fact that the wind is an invisible force with the ability to take down the oldest tree on their land, Methuselah. But, the passage that struck me the most begins on page 235 and ends with the closing of the book. The wind breathed the Taiga's earth into existence. As stated "the wind stirs in the trees" while Omishto dances. I believe that the wind stands for their very culture, more so than the panther (235). It is where their world began and where, as shown from the storm, it will end. I feel as though most people take wind for granted as a force. Before I read this story, I thought of the wind as a light breeze or a rustling through the trees, when, in reality, it has so much more power then that. This book opened my eyes to the life wind has within it. Although it is invisible, it has the power to knock down an enormous tree, to lift animals from the ground, and, and for the Taiga people, create the world we live in. Perhaps the wind is nature itself, for with its invisibility, strength and limitlessness (it can touch the far reaches of the sky unimaginable to us) it touches everything: from me, to a deer, to the water, to Omishto.

Belief vs. Knowledge

What is belief and what is knowledge? Which of these is stronger?

For Omishto, as we discussed in class, it seems as if she has reversed the roles of these two. She sees knowledge as a gut feeling, as her senses. She does not believe in the intangible. She only believes that which is based on fact. At the same time, she identifies that there is a difference between the two, unsure of what she believes and what she knows: "I can't say what I believe anymore. I can't say even what I think or know. Believing and knowing are two lands distant from each other" (40). I think that all and all, Omishto is just like any other young person, she is unsure of where in life she is, what in life she should believe and how much in life she knows.
Personally, I think that neither beliefs nor knowledge are stronger. I think that they have equal amounts of power. Knowledge can assist in personal, economical and career achievement. Beliefs encourage self-esteem, spiritual development and personal relationships. These two aspects, I believe, are too different to compare and contrast. Both help in reaching a place for each individual to grow and learn about their environment, their culture and themselves.

The Name Game

Today in class when we began to discuss Omishto's name, I remembered the conversation we had in the previous class about the importance of names. Lucy finds comfort in her name--it sets her nature apart from the people who surround her that are all named after family members or nothing in particular. Her name also explains the relationship between her and her mother has been strained since her conception, a fact that might comfort her in the knowledge that she did nothing specific to garner her mother's hatred. In Power, Omishto's name amplifies her fascination with her surroundings. Her name highlights the strongest quality she possesses: her ability to evaluate and connect with her surroundings. The interesting part of Omishto's character, though, is her disconnect with other people. It is as if, like Ama, she cannot find a common ground with her people because her character is so unlike them. Anyway, the fact her father chose a name that personified her interesting quality of watchfulness goes to show that perhaps it is not the name that gives the person power, but rather the person that gives the name the power. Characters such as Atticus Finch and Holden Caulfied give powers to their names. So, maybe it is our personalities that give our names their significance? Maybe the Taiga have it right: name your child after you know it, that way their name is actually theirs.

Attachment and Detachment: A Stale Friendship

"It was Peggy who found the apartment. We were then still best friends. We had nothing in common except that we felt at ease in each other's company. From the moment we met we had recognized in each other the same restlessness, the same dissatisfaction with our surroundings, the same skin-doesn't-fit-ness. That was as far as it went" (145).
Throughout this book, I have come to realize Lucy's attachment to what she knows. She still surrounds herself with memories from her past because the are familiar. Although she claims a wish to separate herself from who she was back "home," she still relates herself to that person. I believe that it is the same with her relationship with Peggy. Peggy has been a constant friend who embraces Lucy's dissatisfaction with life, for she feels the same (as shown in the quote above). Lucy finds comfort in this familiarity, not allowing herself to experience a world away from Peggy. Analyzing the quote above, I noticed the line "were still best friends" and was automatically struck by the past tense. Lucy displays a skewed view of time throughout the book which I think strongly effects her emotional relationships. She makes her friendship with Peggy appear in the past tense, yet goes on to describe their apartment in immediate past tense to cause me to assume they are still friends. Her lack of a normal time line confuses the reader. I believe Lucy is confused herself because she doesn't know where she fits in the grand scheme of things. Peggy remains as a branch of that confusion, a person floating along in Lucy's life as Lucy tries to sort that out. Their relationship is strange, at times cold. But, I believe Peggy gives Lucy a sense of belonging in her confusion due to the fact she is familiar. Lucy tends to cling to what has been in an effort to gain perspective on what is. Unfortunately, I believe that Lucy's attachment to her past is exactly what is holding her back. Her relationship with Peggy is stale, no longer growing, and she must separate herself from that stage of her life in order to move forward. Peggy does not encourage her to find herself because Peggy does not understand, I believe, her own identity. Two people who are struggling to find themselves, both with negative opinions of the world and relationships cannot function in a proper, inspiring or healthy relationship.

Identity Crisis

In class, we discussed the number of identities a person can have. But, can you be more than one at the same time? Or is there always pressure to be one more than the other? To be perfectly honest, I think there is always going to be a struggle between identities. I believe that part of being human automatically entails complexity because each person is built by these various identities . I cannot imagine not being a student, a daughter, a friend, an army kid, a vegetarian, an Italian, an Irish, an American etc. I believe that these multiple identities are what complete me as a person. As to the question: is everything you do a performance? I would have to respond: no. I know that for myself, my identities are of my own making. A false person, on the other hand, who pretends to be someone they are not would possess an untrue identity and would be performing to their audience, shifting themselves for their surroundings. Performance, for me, involves "acting" which automatically makes me think of a person being fake.

The beauty of our race is that we are all different. Our multiple identities are what make us that way. Each person has a different combination, causing them to be unique.

This Real Happily Ever After

In the story "This Blessed House," the readers learn of an Indian-American couple who have rushed into marriage. Sanjeev decides to marry Twinkle because of his loneliness and their common appreciation of P.G. Wodehouse. Instead of being the normal Indian housewife, Sanjeev finds that Twinkle cooks without any recipes, does not rush to move in, and leaves her undergarments on the floor. Twinkle is curious to the world that surrounds her, a curiosity that troubles grounded Sanjeev. The rift between these two opposites grows as Twinkle finds a porcelain figurine of Christ left behind by the previous owners of their house. Although they are both Hindu, Twinkle does not get rid of the figurine and begins to find more and more religious objects throughout their new home. When Twinkle tells Sanjeev she hates him as she sits in the bath tub, her face covered in a blue mask, she has become the hard figurines that she collects.  Lahiri displays through this story the struggle that occurs in marital relationships.  The struggle that these two people experience as they begin their lives together will make or break their relationship. I believe that Lahiri's purpose is to show that no matter how stable a relationship may seem, the cracks will always begin to show.  But, the journey of marriage is the discovery of the acceptance of the other individual and the realization that marriage continues after the actual wedding.  No matter the people involved, marriage is work and will always be.

Placed in Displacement

I was thinking as I tried to choose which blogs to put in my portfolio, if I covered all of my thoughts on humanistic studies. When I entered the course, I assumed we would be studying human behavior rather than emotion. I cannot express fully how pleased I was to find out that we were studying more than just behavior but feelings of belonging and place. I was most intrigued by the section about place. As I have said before, place is something I am not really familiar with. I cannot explain how different home is for an army child. A sense of belonging, to me, includes more than just a set of walls and an address. I have experienced many different types of homes-from townhouses to single-family homes. I've lived in Texas, Tennessee, Kansas, Virginia and most recently, Germany. I suppose home is a place where my family is. Along with that, I guess what I understand the most is displacement. The easiest way to put this is to state that instead of understanding place, I understand best displacement. I can honestly say I have never felt as if I really belonged anywhere. Yet, I never have felt as if I've missed out. Is the truth that we either know place or adjust to displacement? Or maybe, they're both just as important. And which is a better lifestyle?

Universal Classics

When a book is called a "classic," one assumes that it defines its time and will forever be a work of true literature. But, when I think of Shakespeare I think, truly, that all his plays are greater than classics. They override time. They exist and make sense in a world completely different then they were originally intended for.
I have shown in previous blogs my enthusiasm for Shakespeare. When Professor Ambrose asked if it was possible that the films suggest Shakespeare is universal, I agreed completely. Each play has an underlying emotion: love, jealousy, or anger, that any person can understand. Perhaps, the fact that Shakespeare still manages to touch his audiences centuries after the original compositions is what causes him to be so universal. Shakespeare's plays have endless adaptions-in books, movies and plays. We modernize Shakespeare over and over again because of his ability to relate to anyone in different aspects of life. Shakespeare's plays are read or acted repeatedly but they never fail to please their audience or to dramatize the realities everyone faces. We appreciate the exaggerated drama that we know we will never fail to understand because all of the emotions expressed are human through and through.

Emotion Can Cause Quite a Commotion!

The purpose of this blog is to share with you how I feel about Shakespeare's writing. He touches on every human emotion: love, jealousy, hatred, friendship, loyalty, betrayal, etc. and although he exaggerates them he really does express how easily it is to be manipulated because of emotions. We are all weak when it comes to love. We are all susceptible to betrayal. We are closely bonded through friendship. We all envious of those we believe to have better things or that are better than us. And we are loyal to the ones we love. But, I believe, we can lose ourselves in these deep emotions. Iagos are all over the place. I suppose what I am trying to say is that Shakespeare's plays should serve as a model. A model, or a lesson, that shares how beautiful these emotions can be, but also how treacherous they can become. Avoid being Iago, avoid being Othello, and hold on to your sanity, because anyone can lose it.

My favorite Shakespeare play is undoubtedly "The Taming of the Shrew." I have read the play at least twenty times! Ever since middle school, when my mother handed me "Macbeth"--I was having trouble with essay writing so my mother would assign me work (it was an awful experience, but I can never thank her enough for teaching me to write)--I have been in love with Shakespeare's play. In fact, I own every single one now, thanks to this class! And now for something not quite as heavy...a clip from 10 Things I Hate About You (modeled after "The Taming of the Shrew") which by the way does quote the original play-if you watch the whole movie and listen closely you'll hear it! In fact, Katrina is referred to as the "shrew" on numerous occasions AND the character, Cameron, who is an adaptation of Lucentio says when he sees Bianca (as Bianca from the original play) "I burn, I pine, I perish" which Lucentio says in Act 1, Scene 1!

Iago: The Puppetmaster

Iago always seems to be doing the most evil when, to the other characters, he is doing good. He sabotages Cassio, then hesitates when having to inform Othello of what happened that lead to the stabbing of Montano. He puts on the appearance of "honesty," causing the surrounding characters to believe in his goodness. Iago manipulates the very meaning of honesty throughout the entire play. He convinces each person the unfaithfulness of Desdemona, the drunkardness of Cassio, and the humbleness of himself. The unfortunate thing is: all of his honesty is just a mask for deception. It is sad that the characters trust so much in one person that only uses them for his own benefit. Iago is truly evil, through and through, because he allows emotions such as jealousy and rage overtake him. I wonder what Iago would have been like if he was born into a better home with higher class or if he had been born a Moor. Would he have been just as manipulative? And why do the other characters believe so much in him? Was he ever the honest person they all believe him to be? He must have been honest for many years before in order for everyone to be so convinced in his goodness. Iago hatches the most evil plan with success, proving that the most evil people really can win. So, what does this say about honesty? What does it say about appearances? Apparently, anyone can be fooled. I cannot help but admit that Iago is clever in his plan and although I could never like his character, I cannot deny I admire his ability to trick the characters within the play. He manipulates them so it appears that they are acting on their own free will.

Crazy Pills

I have known for awhile that I wanted to be a psychology major. I seem to be one of those people that others find easy to talk to about their problems. For me, it seems like a calling. I love being able to reach out and help a person in need.
Sitting there, watching Susanna and the other characters experiencing dark issues, each of them unsure of where to turn or how to face their fears, that calling became even more real to me. I realized that my experience giving advice to friends and strangers was no where near the type of experience needed for the characters that suffered onscreen. But, they inspired me. Each character presented an issue that made me want to jump into the screen and sit across from them in a comfortable chair.
So badly, I wanted to reassure Susanna that crazy really is sane amplified. I truly do believe that the pathological liars of the world, the obsessive compulsive people that live among us, and the sociopaths are just people struggling in the darkness of the world, so unsure of themselves that indulging in their faults, feeling that small amount of control, does not make them crazy. Lisa struggled with her identity and insecurities--instead of facing those fears she pulled out the weaknesses of others, thrusting them in their faces, just so for a period of time her issues did not seem so great or suffocating. Susanna indulged in avoidance, unwilling to face the reality that her life was changing and she had to face major decisions. Polly needed the reassurance that kindness overcame any of her physical insecurities. Georgina compensated for her shortcomings with fantastic tales, not wanting to acknowledge that the real world does not include magical shoes with perfect, happy endings. Each person struggles to overcome their faults and insecurities. When it comes to those moments, the decision to embrace and overcome such weaknesses or to indulge in the false power that lies in avoiding such faults, seems immense and too difficult to handle. So, I guess, you can either face them, or stuff the crazy pills in your pocket and trade them for a different, unhealthily quick fix.

The Pen and Paper Cure

"But I must say what I feel and think in some way--it is such a relief!"
For many people, there are outlets to relieve feelings of doubt, insecurity, and pain. In "The Yellow Wallpaper," the narrator relieves such emotions on paper. She writes what she cannot say to those that surround her because they do not trust in her words. Her husband does not believe she is mentally ill, her doctor believes she is cured, and she realizes that she is still troubled. Writing is her sanctuary; it is the one place she can go and avoid judgment. I know, for myself, writing is an escape--it is a way for me to release all my feelings where I know they can still remain hidden from the world around me, safe from judgment and condemnation. Reality is a frightening place, but a room with yellow wallpaper promises safekeeping for her troubles. She doubts her real surroundings, but she can create an imaginary, safe world within the confines of her room and fill her empty pages with the thoughts that haunt her. Although she claims the "effort" to write is great, the readers can tell that it is the one thing she has under control in her life.

Where Fact Stops and Fiction Begins

Whenever I read a work of fiction, I analyze what it is commenting on about society, people or culture. Strangely enough, fiction is not supposed to have anything to do with reality. But, while in English classes, I read in between the fictitious lines struggling to connect to the world. So, does that mean that fiction is commentary on fact? Virginia Woolf brings up a strong point when identifying that "fiction must stick to facts, and the truer the facts the better the fiction" (16). Perhaps, the title of "a work of fiction" is a cover that allows the author to write their beliefs and views on facts or reality while escaping any condemnation on their theories. I know, when I write, I take my experiences and twist them into my characters, commenting on social norms and folkways. I suppose the purpose of fiction is to give us that protection--allowing us the freedom to critique the world we live in without having to worry about any penalties or judgment on our viewpoints of the world.

Writing, for me, has always been like coming up for air. Whenever I am upset or even perfectly happy with a person or situation the one thing that allows me to express those feelings is being able to write them down. I have always authored letters, some I never even send, to people in which I tell them how I really feel. I remember the first day I started writing for myself rather than for a school assignment. We were moving from Kansas to Tennessee and I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. My mother told me to write my friends back in Kansas a letter telling them how much I would miss them, so I wrote on the back of a colored picture to my closest friend. I never did send that letter, but I never stopped writing after that.